Rhyme nor Reason: True Confessions

Seeing as this is a spanking brand new year and I've decided (after much deliberation and hand-wringing) to continue this here self-indulgent wandering blog, I thought it was appropriate that I finally come clean about my slightly tarnished past (pause here for dramatic effect)  I refer, of course, to crimes committed against the holy house of Sanrio (pause)  for, once upon a time, there was a wee wandering eye oddly obsessed with all things Hello Kitty who may have pocketed a key chain or two at his local mall.

"What?!?  I don't know how that ended up in my backpack......" 

Oh, the shame of it all. 

Mug shots from here.